Just The Facts
1.Pyramids are 4500-year old monuments that are sturdier than most modern buildings on account of their wildly impractical design.
2.Conspiracy theorists have made the logical leap from "well built useless monuments" 3.Fox news has concluded that it would be "reasonable" to believe that aliens built the pyramids.
4.The Obama administration has said that Fox is not a real news network.
5.Obviously, president Obama is an alien.
6.Ultimately, pyramids are proof that if you have enough time and bored/willing workers on your hands, you can fuck with stupid people way after you're already dead.
Overview
A pyramid is a large structure pointing towards the sun. The most famous pyramid is, without a doubt, the pyramid of Giza in Egypt. There are also pyramids in Southern and Central America, built by the Aztecs, Mayans and Incas, and Las Vegas, built by capitalists. Pyramids point up towards the heavens, i.e. where the UFOs come from. In some cases they are tombs, in others they are temples, in both they are fucking useless.
No matter how you look at it, it's really just a big hunk of rock.
Conspiracy theorists claim that if they serve no purpose to humans, pyramids must have been built by aliens. Of course assuming that anything that serves no purpose to humanity must be created by aliens would mean that conspiracy theorists themselves were created by aliens.
Non-conspiracy theorists point out that the pharaohs probably built their pyramids for the same reason most of Washington DC's monuments were erected: To let people know damn well who was in charge. What better way to do that than building a costly and huge-ass tomb? From the day the first person thought: "I want to be buried under a fucking mountain" things just escalated as leader after leader tried to prove who was more awesome by building pyramids that reached farther and farther towards heaven. In fact one of the main theories about the collapse of the entire Mayan civilization revolves around the whole, 'bigger is better' ideal. In an attempt to make tombs that gave a big 'fuck you' to their parents' tombs, the Mayans started cutting down their forests faster than they could grow back. This resulted in the sudden collapse of the entire Mayan civilization, meaning death for thousands of their people, right before the Spaniards could show up to slaughter them all anyway.
The great landing place of Giza
Conspiracy theorists favorite "mysteries" about the pyramids:
1. How did some Pharaoh manage to haul several thousand tons of rock up an artificial mountain? What technology did they have back then that we no longer have available to us? Where did it come from?
2. Have you ever wondered why, if the Egyptians were able to build such solid structures, we don't build them today? If we knew how to build giant structures capable of withstanding thousands of years of unkind conditions, we would do it.
3. Anyway it's pretty much an indisputable subject because there are actual ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics that depict beings from the sky sharing wisdom with the Egyptians.
Completely non-mysterious, and straight forward answers that it is absolutely not worth giving them because they'll only make you more depressed about the human condition:
1. The only thing they would have needed that we don't have available to us is a whole civilizations worth of people who had nothing better to do because harvest was over.
2. Nobody builds pyramids today because it would be fucking pointless. There'd be no reason at all to replace every city block with a massive, super expensive pyramid that only houses up to 10 people.
3. Well, maybe the theorists are right after all for this one. 'Cause really, their never ever was, in the history of the human race, any other text that ever referred to other-worldly beings from the sky.
from here: http://www.cracked.com/funny-4423-pyramids/
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